Truth stricken, I dwell in the darkness of the fleeting thoughts, I can see the memories floating like dead bodies and the sole remaining fact, sinking deeper and faster: She was, in all forms of ways, no more. I wanted to look into her pearly eyes again, I longed to stare at her clear, benign facial expressions longer just to remember how her face shined without the pressing need to write more words that fail in comparison to what she truly is, to how her halo glows bright in the damped, dim night and to how her words catch my ear in surprise and awe every time she directs her speech towards the simple wandering I.
Desperately, I long to be thrown into her arms before the long, melancholic wait for her expected holy return to these barren lands. The emotional carnage turned the cold winter night surrounding me into harsh and scorching summer sky, she had once saved me but I am again thwarted into nothingness, how troublesome.
I wonder what am I going to write about in future days ahead, I ponder the heartless, despicable man I am about to become, it seems I am forever condemned to be resolute and rigid when I once was able to be vulnerable and weak, even for a while I enjoyed vulnerability’s throne.
I was unwanted as I once wanted her, she is my blasphemy and my bane who thought I merely looked at her shell.