The floor is cold enough to remind me of older times, colder times. The stench of long lost and abandoned memories fill my damaged lungs and instantly triggers my need for cigarette shaped self sodomy.
As the fire burns the lips and penetrates the chest, I pick my body up and sway anxiously towards the empty bathroom tub waiting to embrace my existence with open porcelain arms.
Hours pass in liquid tranquility, calm, heavenly, Eternity. Dripping sadness afterwards as I creep slowly towards my razor-sharp bedding, I crawl under the sheets hoping for the comfort of comatose and only achieving mere fleeting moments of sleep.
The waiting part is the harshest, especially when I’m at a reasonable high, I struggle to keep the thoughts rushing through me like waves eating away at stones, Order, I want order, alphabetical, ascending or even from the morose to the melancholic. But as previously predicted, I nonchalantly fail in my fucking pathetic attempts.
Overwhelmed, I fade into the blackness, I become part of nothing, engulfed in everything and for a blink of an eye, I was at peace, I was peace and I was the pieces and the puzzle.
Alas, I open my eyes once again to my laughable reality that longs to dive into the open seas back to Atlantis, that wishes to descend under the waves of shameful lust and looks around for the end credits about to start rolling…slowly…carefully…finally.