The Flaky Derelict

Of masks, monsters and demons caged in my head.

Sinful Times V – Trials and Tribulations

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I try so hard just to be myself.


What the fuck is ‘My-Self’? or even just ‘self’ for that matter?

Is it my face? my faith? my past? my choices? my values-or lack of-? or even the sum of the parts? I have absolutely no fucking clue, all I know about it is that I can’t touch it, I can’t see it and I can’t smell but I have this strange belief that I had it.

I had it and now no longer.

Is it lost? or did I make the conscious choice to disregard it? if it’s the former then How? and if it’s the latter then why?

My head burns…

Did I lose it midst wanderings in the past? or during one of my often committed mistakes?

Fire is overwhelming…

Did I wear my proudly mastered masks for too long that I can no longer have 1 singular self? or are there even more than just 1 self?

incinerate my visions…

I decided to leave it be, for I am a failure, for I could not even know if I had a self or not, thoughts of death pierced my skull, slowly, harshly and I lied in the dismay of ignorance.

Can you see?

Save me.

Let me die.

I won’t care then.







Author: Zeus

I am the grey area, everything by choice and nothingness by choice, wherein everything is possible as it is improbable.

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