The Flaky Derelict

Of masks, monsters and demons caged in my head.

Sinful Times VI: View Askew

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I don’t want you

Or rather

I don’t want to want you

For I am nothing

A mask

A façade

A story

A lie told so many times

I ended up believing it

And you are everything

Sadness

A smile

A grin

A truth told so many times

You ended up not perceiving it

Paradox

I don’t want to want to want you

More paradox

Paradoxes

I don’t know what to write more on the subject

Because it does not end

Ascend or descend

I will always find you a beauty

And you’ll always find nothing

Or because there is no subject

But it’s okay

It’s what I’m used to

It’s what I was born to do

Because if everything exists

Nothing must exist

There is no perfect system

If there is a program, there is a glitch

If there is a life, there is death

And vice versa

Can you follow the thought process?

Can you see?

I can’t

Thoughts overflow

I kick the thought

And ponder it

And as I wonder

It multiplies

And diverges

Into more thoughts

More ideas

And the more ideas murdered

The more ideas surface

Pain

You don’t know pain

Or rather

You know another kind of pain

But I’ve embraced pain

I submitted to it

I found beauty in it

I fell in love with it

Because I have no other feelings

I fake all other feelings

I fake living

But I’ve not faked wanting you

Which is why I don’t want to want you

Because it feels wrong

It feels different

Out of my regular discomfort zone

I am writing

I don’t know what

Nor why

I am just writing

Mainly because I can

Or can’t

What I can is different from what I can’t

Captain obvious strikes again

Impeccable shot

Right through the crest

The chest

It yearns, it burns

It falls to the ground and laughs

It’s always funny

It’s always fun

It’s all a big joke

So might as well be laughing

Dancing

Dying

What a beautiful thought

How did this mess begin?

With a smile or with a frown

I again have lost track

Tracks

Going nowhere fast

Destination Grey

There is no night

As there is no day

Just grey

Where impossible become improbable

Immortality is the obligation

In servitude lives the nation

Pariahs in a derelict universe

God

Is the new trend

A blend

Of the myth and mystic

To save us from ourselves

Or let us save ourselves

Evident is our human incompetence

Children locked in earthly denizens

Be gone demons of old

And rust in the cold

Leave us be

Let me be

I

Me

Please

Save

Me

Or not

I guess I might live to write another day

About you

Then drift to blasphemy anew

Why are you

You

My beautiful

View askew.

Image

 

 

 

 

Author: Zeus

I am the grey area, everything by choice and nothingness by choice, wherein everything is possible as it is improbable.

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